I have just lost of one my dear teachers and mentor’s Psalm Isadora. She was a fiery kali type of goddess. She taught tantra, sexuality, and yoga. I remember when I saw a picture of this woman, that I wanted to work with her. I did her primal core kundalini training and fell in love with Shaktism, the path of the feminine. Her studies were part of the left-hand path of Tantra but infused with a heart-centered path by her late Guruji.
Psalm took her own life. She didn’t take her life because she was not strong enough. She didn’t take her life because the teachings of yoga and tantra “didn’t work”. She took her life because of her mental health illness and coming off of drugs like Xanax and alcohol without medical supervision. She took her life because she perhaps didn’t feel there was a way out. Suicidal ideation and suicide is more common than we know.
If there was one thing Psalm was about, it was about breaking the silence around taboo topics. Suicide is a taboo topic. Addiction is a taboo topic. I am sharing about this because I miss her and because I must create life in the midst of the death. I know she would want me to.
The tantrics didn’t believe in mourning when someone died but instead, they believed in celebrating the life of the person. Though I have to be honest, I have mourned. I also am celebrating her bold, courageous, bad ass life and teachings.
The medicine and breathwork that she has taught me, (The Transformational Power Breathe is listed here on oneOeight) has been life changing for me and countless of my students and friends. Her medicine lives on through us now.
The theme this month is rebirth. Life is all about cycles. Cycles of life and cycles of death. Psalm would speak about this often. I can save a life perhaps by sharing that we are all human… the yogis, the healers, the therapists – all of us. What that means is depression, suicidal thoughts, bad relationships it can happen to anyone! Even if you know better, chemical imbalances are real and trauma is real too. I thought in the presence of Psalm’s death, she is still teaching me and us. Her death has shaken me and woke me up. It is a deep reminder to me and to us in this wellness community.. to get support. It doesn’t make you less strong. It makes you stronger to say “I NEED HELP”!
If you or anyone you know is suffering and you don’t know what to do, call the National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255. They can help support you and connect you with resources, they can even come and bring someone to the hospital if they are unwilling or unable to go and are in danger of hurting themselves or others.
Psalm posted a video on a man who committed suicide in a hotel, about 4 months before she would then take her own life. In it, she empathized with him. She wanted the suffering to go away. She was a leader in this movement and she is still leading us from another dimension. I want to bring life from this death. There is medicine in it all. Life is hard sometimes, don’t do it alone. Get support and professional help when needed.
I will leave us all with a beautiful poem by Psalm Isadora.
when you are lonely
when you are lost
know i am waiting for you
follow the breadcrumbs on the desert floor
find the red door in the wilderness
listen for the cry of the black raven
dig through the diamond sands to find the golden key
in the darkness follow the one bright star and feel the faint rumbling drumbeat
beneath your feet
look for the bonfire in the distance
we are gathering
we have waited for you many lifetimes
let your immortal soul wake up in your mortal body
taste the red wine beyond blood and death
and remember your destiny
my lover, my child, my mother, my friend
we are all ONE
And remember, let her life and legacy inspire us with both her teachings in her life and her teachings in her death, there is medicine in it all.