Does anyone else sometimes sit staring at their phone, searching for answers? Like, not Googling things but literally staring at the mess of apps littering the screen and feeling like the weight of a zillion things that should get done but not feeling like doing a single one of them? Feeling anxious and depressed. Burnt out. Confused. Lonely.
Begin scrolling through Instagram.
Photos and words you see… only to add to your list of “I wish …. ” “If only…” “I should…”.
Open Facebook, which kindly reminds you of what you were doing 4 years ago.
You long for that time in your life when things were pretty great (but of course you were too much of a perfectionist to actually realize this…). You long for that time before heartbreak and loss. When you were young and carefree and beautiful (but again – how frustrating! – you didn’t realize it then).
You sit wishing you were the person you used to be. Or another person. Or the person you want to become one day. But you know deep within you never have felt wholly happy or fulfilled. Your mind incessantly creates problems for you, no matter how good things get. Today is no different. Tomorrow will probably be the same – always something wrong. Something missing. Nothing finished. Never enough.
I read a quote the other day – Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end…
Will things ever, REALLY, be 100% OK? Probably not. But do they need to be? Probably not. Maybe the struggle is primarily the resistance the mind has to struggle.
Might it be possible that THIS moment is a perfect moment? Can you trust that this simple act of BEING here is actually enough? That this cool thing we all do called breathing is worthy of joy and delight? Can you rejoice in all the magic in the world and within yourself, in this very moment?
You are exactly as you are meant to be at this point in your life. And those who surround you in your life are exactly as they are meant to be, too…
Flawed, just like you.
Searching, just like you.
Desiring happiness, just like you.
Struggling, just like you.
All might not well be well. Life can be beautifully awful. I don’t know if it’s possible or (even good) to feel 100%, all the time, happy with life… But I do think we can begin to collect more moments true joy – through self-acceptance and acceptance of others – when we begin a practice of mindfully looking deep into our hearts. Deep into our minds. Deep into others’ eyes. (And perhaps a little less deep into our phones).