I have been in a yoga bubble for a month and a half. I’m currently in a 200 teacher training program. One of the core values of this training is “progress = happiness.” There are two ways to happiness, when we are growing and when we are giving.
This is where I am most happy. When I am growing and giving.
Spring reminds us of this teaching of growing and giving. Growth is everywhere right now (at least in California, where I live). Flowers blooming, bees and other insects buzzing, trees green with new leaves, etc. You can smell the birth of newness. The participation of giving is in the air too. A community doing its part to support all this new growth. From people planting seeds in gardens to insects shaking their butts for pollination to intermittent rains and sunshine days working tandem to flourish this new life.
It all comes together. Right on time.
This month always feels like a new beginning for me. Not only because it is Spring but because it’s my birthday this week. Every year, this is the month that feels like a “new year” for me — well, because it is. I have been reflecting a lot on the past year and seeing how my life has ended up right at this very moment (even with me typing this). A year ago, I knew I would be right here. Not in some sassy, “I told you so” kind of way but more of a real-life “I’m-going-to-work-my-butt-off to get there” kind of way. I am right here working on myself, my relationships, my practice, my teachings, and all things that support life in a forward and up motion (growth).
This month I’ve had to get real-deal honest with myself. Being honest with myself makes me get real-deal honest with others.
It’s not always easy. I am a recovering people-pleaser, do-gooder, set an example for others kind of person. And living that way most my life wore me thin. When it attempts to creep in, I can now catch-on a little faster and hold myself in grace. Because now, I’ve learned, I know it’s root comes from: not being enough. I’m working through some deep-seeded stuff right now. I can pinpoint and note, if I must, the times I allow myself to halt my growth or not give myself entirely is one of the ways I play small in my life. It has taken me some time to dig this up. It’s real life root chakra work for me.
With that, I won’t ever be able to get away with pushing this sort of discovery down. That’s the beautifully-challenging thing about awareness. Or bringing the unconscious to light. We must press on in a new way, in a new light. Responsibility will task us living powerfully, owning every aspect of our lives, leaving no room for blame. We don’t need to punish or manipulate ourselves. We just need to show up, listen, own this tough stuff, and leave room for grace.
This month, I’ve planted new roots and living the affirm: I am enough. I have a right to be here.
And so do you.
You are enough. You have a right to be here.
Believe this with your entire Being.