Be Kinder To Yourself

January marks not only the beginning of the year it is also my birthday month. As I reflect on past experience I can’t help but acknowledge the fact I am about to turn 32. THIRTY-F-ing-TWO!! This feeling of shock is not because I think, oh my god… I’m SO Old, but rather it’s crazy because I don’t know how I got here this fast?! I remember feeling like 32 was a long ways away. I remember seeing young mamas and thinking to myself — wow they really have it all figured out. Although I thoroughly enjoyed my twenties (probably a little too much) a part of me envied this young professional/mother/real-deal adult thirty-year-old…

And now I am here. I am at this very point in my life where everything was supposed to be figured out and instead, I feel like a total MESS. Don’t get me wrong– I am incredibly grateful for all that I have and for what I am doing with my life right now however, I still give myself pep talks on the reg, I still call my best friends for positive reinforcement, and I still constantly remind myself not to be judgmental of what I have or haven’t accomplished.

The truth is no one has it all figured out, everyone is dealing with shit, everyone struggles. As I contemplate my past, I realize how much the struggles have forced me to grow and grasp a greater understanding of myself. As painful as some have been it’s the struggles that have led to bigger opportunities and allowed me to understand what it is that I want in life and for that I am grateful. I also know I have plenty more of these life-lessons coming my way.

As we begin 2018 I am not making resolutions or setting new goals because honestly, I have a terrible track record. Every year it’s the same game: I will meditate more, eat healthier, drink less, exercise more, blah blah…. And when I don’t I feel guilty and worse about myself. Instead of focusing on what is wrong I choose to focus on what I LOVE. I don’t need to change, I need to RENEW & Reconnect with what is real and what brings joy to my life. So here is a little list of what I have learned in my 31 years and what I plan to renew and cultivate more of in my life. It may or may not resonate with you, either way… if you take anything any from my blabbering it is to simply BE KINDER TO YOURSELF this year than ever before.

  1. If you’re not happy, make a change. You may learn the grass isn’t always greener however if you stay where you are you will miss out on an opportunity for growth.
  2. No one, no job, no item will make you happy, you must be happy with yourself first.
  3. Don’t waste your time worrying (someone once told me it’s like carrying an open umbrella waiting for it to rain).
  4. Always choose quality over quantity.
  5. Practice moderation. In all aspects. This mindset offers more balance than any diet fad ever could.
  6. Move your body, it is the best medicine to get you out of your head.
  7. Put down your phone and be present. This is a big one for me…. Social media apps literally trigger compulsive human behavior by release of endorphins that control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Practice becoming more mindful in how you use your phone instead of mindless scrolling.
  8. Get outside.
  9. Embrace quietness.
  10. Give to others in need.
  11. Feel what you feel and be ok with the ebb and flow of life. Everything is in a constant state of change.
  12. Make time to write. Whether its journaling, blogging, or posting on Instagram set aside time to evaluate your thoughts and express how you feel.
  13. Don’t compare yourself to others, especially on social media. No one wants to constantly post about their crappy day or frustrations and we all have them. We all feel lost and crazy and bad about ourselves at times but I promise you are your own worst critic. Make a conscious effort to be kinder to yourself. This will radiate outwards into the world and will manifest in ways you may have never imagined.

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