Especially this time of year, it is easy to feel like everyone’s coupled up, whether they’re in a budding new romance or they’ve been together for what seems like forever. It’s easy to feel left out when you are going through a breakup or have been single for a while, but remember there are so many reasons why you don’t need a boyfriend. Sure, the companionship and romance are nice, but being in a relationship isn’t necessary for you to love your life right now.
When it comes to taking time to self-reflect, there will always be parts of us that we love and accept and are happy to put into the world, and there will be inevitably parts of us that we don’t like.
The parts we like and don’t like are part of the internal yin and yang we all possess.
Deep down, we all have self-doubt. We may feel like people wouldn’t like us if they saw how we really are, or we hold baggage of shame, from feeling guilty or bad about things we’ve done or how we’ve behaved. Maybe you still feel awful that you cheated on your boyfriend 5 years ago, get ashamed after losing control in an argument with your friend, or wish you were stronger at holding your ground with your 4-year old…or whatever plays around in your head that you wish was “better”. This can create anxiety, loads of stress and not fully accepting yourself.
I believe in many ways we are all in a marriage with ourselves. Part of a successful marriage, one could argue, is accepting the other person for all their sides, all their facets just as they are. It doesn’t mean there isn’t room for growth, but being comfortable and loving what is now.
And so I believe it is with ourselves. It’s easy to think we have “bad” qualities…and as I mentioned earlier, this can eat away at us and make us feel less than worthy, or that our voice isn’t as important, or just create internal anxiety.
If you too pause to reflect, you can get clear about what parts of yourself you like and don’t like, in a very honest way. But seeing all sides, can you step back and realize that it’s all part of you, which is a whole, conscious being complete as you are right now?
It’s okay to not have some not-so-perfect/great/awesome traits…that is part of your uniqueness and your beauty. And as we move towards acceptance of ourselves in the now, we also move towards self-growth.
I think it’s important that we start being real and loving accepting ourselves for the perfectly imperfect people that we are. I also think it’s key to let go of shame, which is tied up in embarrassment and not accepting fully accepting who we are and our individual path of growth in life, and is a super low energy.
We all make mistakes, but we can grow from them and let go. No matter what we’ve done, we are still love and light and nothing can change that. The more we truly own that, the more love we attract and the more love we feel every moment.