Mothering Yourself

Do you remember being a child? We’re going to go on a little journey to remember yourself as child. Think back to a moment back in time when you were a child, before the age of 7. Pay attention to the details of your little face. Look at the clothing you were wearing. Notice the colors, the textures. Notice where you are and perhaps who’s around you. Take a deep breathe in and breathe in that moment in time as  a child. 

Now I want you to look into your eyes. Your beautiful tender eyes. Little you as a child. Gaze into your eyes. 

Breathe. 

Good job. This little you is always ever present in our lives. We may have forgotten. We may have ignored him or her…. but she/he is there and living within your consciousness and subconscious. Your inner child, depending on your upbringing, has endured many things. Often times, because we become busy being adults, we forget about the child within. 

How was your relationship with your mother?There are no right or wrong answers. There are just observations. How was your relationship with your mother as a child? How was your relationship with your mother as an older child? How was your relationship with your mother as a teen? Was she present? Was she criticizing? Did your mother suffer from an addiction or mental health illness? DId your mother pass? Was your mother happy and always giving and showering you with praise? Was your mother stressed, single parent and lonely. 

What was your experience like with your mother? Pause and take notice. This is your time to feel into your experience and just notice. When we notice these primary relationships whether they were present or not, we are able to heal current relationships. First and foremost- the relationship to self and secondly, relationships with others. 

AS a child we are at the mercy of our parents (our mother and father) or our caregivers or lack thereof. We are innocent and NEED and require the help of adults to care for our NEEDS. This is major part of  how we grow into healthy functioning adults. If that is ruptured in certain ways, then we  can be led to doubt our worth or not even know we have needs that must be met. 

On mother’s day, regardless of the relationship with your mother; whether amazing or estranged, I  thought it would be helpful for us to use this as a moment to reflect on our actual relationships with our mothers and with how we mother ourselves now as adults.  

To me, this is one of the most radical healing powers that we have as adults. AS adults, unlike as kids, most of us are able to make choices and care for ourselves. Part of that process of caring for ourselves is relearning healthier ways to care for our inner child. 

I call this concept: MOTHERING YOURSELF.

This little child that lives within you get’s scared. 

She/He gets scared of being abandoned

She/He gets scared of being betrayed

She/He gets scared to be alone 

She/He gets scared and wants to shut down or storm off.

Your inner child needs your love and mothering. On mother’s day we heal the mother wound (even if we had healthy mothering; no one is perfect), by learning to mother ourselves.

Develop a relationship with your inner child. Perhaps put a picture of little you on your phone or print one and frame it in your room. During a still moment, meditate and connect to your inner child. Give him/her love. Ask him/her what she needs to feel safe. Nurture the little you. Mother yourself and make sure that your inner child is loved, safe, seen, and heard.

As you learn to mother yourself in nurturing ways your faith in yourself grows and your faith in others. As you do this you also are healing past memories of pain and hurt from childhood and also allows you to be more fully present NOW as an adult and act from that place. 

Mother yourself today. Love yourself and let that love move you to love others. 

Happy mothers day to the fur momma’s, to the auntie momma’s, to the momma momma’s, and friend momma’s, and lover momma’s and book mamas! 

Remember WE are all birthing something, men and women, and we most mother and nurture ourselves through that process. Love always wins. Happy Mother’s day to all. 

 

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